Several years ago I stumbled upon an article where the author was complaining about the holidays and how some parents over-do it with the celebrations.
You know- too much hooplah over the leprechauns, celebrating Pi-day with desserts galore, or over the top- homemade Valentine’s for class parties.
My first initial thought was totally agreeing with the author, and sending a mental fist pump into the air.
But then I got to thinking about it the rest of the morning and I changed my thoughts just a bit.
I a mom who likes to make the holidays fun for my kids.
I like traditions.
I like to let my creative juices flow. Being a stay-at-home mom, sometimes I need that, or even crave being able to use my imagination, or put my hands to work through creativity.
I’m sure I’m not the only who who feels that way.
My fondest memories are the fun things my parents did for us as children.
It wasn’t necessarily over the top all the time – but it’s the small things that I truly remember.
I remember my mom turning our milk green on St. Patrick’s Day.
And every Valentine’s Day we were greeted with little gifts and candy on the kitchen table in the morning.
I won’t argue that since social media and Pinterest have become popular- there has been a rise in big, fancy holiday celebrations.
And I don’t think that’s a bad thing or a good reason for someone to bring someone down who does.
You see what our friends and families are doing and maybe it makes you want to do it, too.
Maybe it makes you feel excited about a new challenge or tradition you want to start. Maybe it gets our own creative juices flowing and sparks something inside of you that you haven’t felt in a while.
When did it become a negative to make things more fun for your kids?
Or if it gives you, the parent, some sort of satisfaction, or helps you feel accomplished during the day, I think that is okay, too!
Don’t we all need a little validation every once in a while?
Why not “celebrate others” instead of bashing them and asking for us all to tone it down?
It also doesn’t mean that it is not okay for others not to go over-board, make goodie-bags for class parties or participate in Elf on the Shelf.
Why don’t we all give each other a break, and collectively agree that it is hard to be a parent, and to do fun things with our kids all the time, and to plan activities for every holiday.
If one mom has it in her to do all that, I really think that’s great, and even admire her. But if you don’t do it all, I don’t think any less of you!
If you don’t want to do those things, don’t do them- don’t feel guilty about it either- because your kids will still know you love them.
I promise you- they won’t be scarred for life because they didn’t dye Easter eggs {which happens to be one of my least favorite activities ever} either.
Pick and choose what is important to you and your family, and what you feel you can participate in without feeling overwhelmed.
But don’t put down someone else who chooses to go “above and beyond.”
That was my biggest gripe about the article.
Keep in mind, that what you “see” isn’t always what it is.
Remember most everyone puts their best self forward. Whether it be through blogs, Facebook or on Instagram. For better or worse, most people show you what they want you to see.
Just because “that mom” is making homemade Valentine’s Day cards and sending a bag filled with goodies doesn’t mean she is also throwing a 4th of July party or making three kinds of pie on “pi day”.
Just because “that mom” is doing the advent calendar with her children doesn’t mean there isn’t a day {or two} that she totally forgets and skips it.
Or completely forget to move her Elf on the Shelf a day or two here and there.
Just because “that mom” is going all out with decorations for her child’s party, doesn’t mean she didn’t spend forever on YouTube trying to figure out how to make crepe paper lanterns.
Just because “that mom” is setting out Leprechaun traps and turning the milk green doesn’t mean she is also making home-made centerpieces for Thanksgiving, or planning an elaborate Easter egg hunt for the entire neighborhood.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with me planning activities, doing art projects or giving fun little gifts on certain holidays, as long as I’m also teaching my children the true meaning Christmas, and explaining exactly why we observe Easter.
For those less important holidays that have no special meaning, I hope I can still make sure my kids know that we’re doing something “fun and out of the ordinary” because they are traditions, big or small.
And traditions are something I hold very dear to my heart and are very important in our family. They are what I want my girls to remember when they are older.
It is up to me and my husband to make sure our kids don’t feel entitled. It’s up to us to make sure they know that they don’t always get candy and presents every holiday and that not every holiday is going to be fancy.
It’s up to us to make sure it doesn’t go to their heads, and that if we don’t do something the same as their neighbor that it is okay and not everyone celebrates the same.
At the end of the day we are all just doing our best as parents.
There is already too much comparison and criticism in parenting. Instead of bringing someone down, let’s build one another up.