I was listening to this song the other day when the lyrics hit me like a ton of bricks.
It was as if something clicked inside me and I finally embraced the fact that I am strong- not stubborn- when it comes to our infertility journey.
So often when people have told me how I strong I am for what I’ve gone through in our infertility journey I have shrugged it off and chalked it up to being stubborn.
10 years of infertility. Almost 20 rounds of IUI. 2 failed rounds of IVF. Dozens upon dozens of negative pregnancy tests. 2 surgeries. 5 years straight of trying. Heartbreak after heartbreak.
I have felt that I keep going and do all of this because I stubborn- plain and simple.
But it finally clicked the other day that I do this not just because I’m stubborn- but because I am strong. And I was made this way.
Being strong is a quality and trait that I was given from God to get me through this trial.
No, infertility hasn’t made me strong- but it has brought the strength out in me that I didn’t know I had.
Anyone going through infertility- in any capacity- has been given strength to be strong. I believe that with all my heart. I believe that God has given us challenges but because of that- he also made us strong.
And maybe being strong looks differently on you.
Just because the road you took or are taking is different than someone else’s doesn’t make you more or less strong.
Maybe your decisions led you to adoption, surrogacy, sperm donation, foster care, IVF, or IUI.
Maybe you decided to embrace having one child and not pursuing other options.
Maybe you decided in the end- childless living was going to be your path.
Let me say it again: doing something differently than another person going through infertility does not make you weak or stronger than anyone else.
Wherever your journey has taken you- it was because you are strong.
And I know- sometimes it doesn’t feel like you are strong.
Sometimes you feel weak, and broken, and want to give up.
And that’s okay.
Because I know after that- you are also going to pick yourself up and decide where to go from there. And when you’re ready to make decisions, close doors and move forward you are going to do it because you were made to be strong and not because you feel weak.
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