Being honest and open with your friends and family that you are going through infertility is a huge step.
By sharing it publicly you are admitting to yourself that yes, this is your battle.
While keeping it private is completely acceptable, being open about it can be so freeing and healing.
It might open up more doors, conversations, and emotions- but in my experience having people understand- even a little- what you’re going through can be so helpful.
It takes away that small part of your life that you’ve been hiding or keeping close that allows you to breathe a little easier- it allows you to take control of your situation and to decide exactly what you want to share and what you want others to know.
You have to decide for yourself when you want to be open about your infertility.
It is a vulnerable feeling to share something so private and personal with others. Ask yourself if having other people know is worth it to you. For most- it is.
It could mean having people understand why you may not have children, or why you haven’t had another baby. It takes away the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
It gives you a larger support system. It allows others to serve you, to pray for you, and to learn from you.
But with it comes the responsibility to inform and to spread awareness.
However, coming out and saying you struggle with infertility might be enough, too. It’s not being afraid to say the words, to show yourself and others that you are brave and strong enough.
It promotes understanding from both sides of the fence.
Within the first couple of years of sharing with others that we were experiencing infertility I had no less than 20 friends and family members either call, text, or message me that they were struggling with it too. They asked for advice or had questions for me.
It helped me feel like I could truly help someone else through this trial of mine. I could use what I had learned to help guide someone else through it.
When you share what you are going through you will find that you are not alone. You will build that connection with others and see that people can offer empathy.
When the time comes to become open about your infertility I hope you will find that it is a positive experience.
If sharing on Social Media
Consider writing a heartfelt post sharing a bit of your struggle. You don’t have to go into every detail, but you can be honest in explaining what you’re going through.
Share an article on infertility (we have lots!), or a quote that accurately depicts how you’re feeling. Sometimes having that “buffer” allows the doors to open more easily. People can read the articles you share and that helps them understand what is going on in your life.
Decide what you want others to know. Not everyone needs to know everything. But if you just need people to stop asking you when baby #2 is coming, or if baby #1 is ever coming- writing something quick and to the point. No need to be harsh or catty (even though sometimes it feels good to be)- share with love and compassion and you will recieve that in return
If sharing in person
Find a time that you know you will be listened to. Maybe you want to call a family or friend gathering together where you’ll feel safe. You can make it as big of a deal as you want. It can be planned and thought out or it can be something you simply drop into conversation.
There is no need to suffer in silence. If women can chat about pregnancy, birth, potty-training and teething- they can also talk about the struggle it is for so many to even get there.
There is no shame in admitting you struggle with infertility.
There is no shame in not admitting it.
Decide what will help you the most on your journey.
And if you do share, know you have so many people just waiting to help and cheer you on- but they can’t do that until they know.