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	<title>miscarriage Archives - Infertili.Tees</title>
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		<title>If You See Something Good In Someone- Tell Them</title>
		<link>https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cindy Maudsley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Jan 2018 04:40:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Infertility Support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Supporting Loved Ones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tender Mercies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertilitysupport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[miscarriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://infertilitees.com/?p=214</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>There is a lot of negative conversation surrounding  the world of Facebook and Instagram that I just want to remind you that there can also be so much good- if it is used that way.  The experience I want to share touched my life and I never would have had it if it weren&#8217;t for...</p>
<p><a class="more-link" href="https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/">If You See Something Good In Someone- Tell Them</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
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<p>There is a lot of negative conversation surrounding  the world of Facebook and Instagram that I just want to remind you that there can also be so much good- if it is used that way.  The experience I want to share touched my life and I never would have had it if it weren&#8217;t for social media.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>We can choose to use it for uplifting others or we can choose to use it to degrade, belittle and break down those around us.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>This experience has taught me to use it for good whenever I can and to act on those promptings that come our way.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I really love the yard sale pages on Facebook.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>They are groups formed of people in your area where you can sell and buy things from each other.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>A few years ago someone was selling colored twine and I thought<em> &#8220;Oh, yes, I have to have it!&#8221;</em> I commented that I wanted one roll and asked for her address, telling her I would pick it up in two days.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>As it turned out two days later we found out we were having a chemical pregnancy after our second round of IVF and it ended up being a particularly hard, emotional day for us.</p>
<p>The thought of driving <em>anywhere and seeing anyone</em> was the furthest thing from my mind, and somehow the twine was forgotten.</p>
<p>Until the girl selling it sent me a private message.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>There I sat,  downstairs in our basement on our computer with  tear stained cheeks,  my body exhausted as I opened up the private message she sent me via Facebook.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Just wondering if you were still interested in the red/brown roll of twine. I&#8217;ve set it aside but there are others interested.</em></p>
<p><em> </em></p>
<p><em>Also, maybe this is super creepster-y, but I usually check out the people coming to my house and I have to say, your family is adorable! You look happy and bright! I&#8217;m assuming you&#8217;re just really good at letting your light shine!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Those last two sentences snapped me back into reality. In that moment my heart skipped a beat as I stared at my computer screen.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It was so clearly a message sent from above through an angel on earth.</p>
<p>It was exactly what I  needed to hear, it was so clear and distinct that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this girl, who I had never met, was supposed to send that message to me.</p>
<p>It was meant to lift my spirits.</p>
<p>It  was meant to show me that my Savior, Jesus Christ, and my loving Heavenly Father were aware of me. Of my family. Of my hurt heart and broken spirit.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Because this was the day that our HCG level was confirmed to be going down {from a number of 51 down to 20}and  was the day we had to come to terms with quite possibly never having anymore children.</p>
<p>We had decided that if this last attempt at IVF failed, we would take a break and it would quite possibly be the last attempt we would make to get pregnant doing fertility treatments.</p>
<p>Not getting pregnant, and knowing we were &#8220;done&#8221; with the treatments and medications- knowing that  unless a miracle occurred-  we would not be having any more babies- was THE hardest thing.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Something I still cannot fully comprehend or wrap my head around.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>That first day I felt so broken, and lost, and alone and hurt.</p>
<p>I was questioning if my family could really be complete with just the four of us, I was afraid to accept that our family may not being anything more than it was.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>But through the kindness of a stranger, I felt such a strong message that yes, my family can and will be just fine.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>That my sadness didn&#8217;t need to define me. And although, the grieving of never being pregnant again just might take a life time to fully heal, I still had a beautiful family that can shine just as it is.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I sat there that night I began to cry again. But this time they were tears because I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of love.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I look for tender mercies in my life with just about everything that happens, because I have to in order to feel peace and be okay with trials sent out way.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The words that stranger wrote   felt like it was God&#8217;s way of literally shaking me awake, telling me <em>He was there</em>.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t want to freak this girl out, but I quickly wrote her back and told her how much her message meant to me, how much I needed it. I told her briefly about our fertility struggles.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>She quickly responded</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em>You know what? I definitely felt like I needed to tell you that!&#8230;.Thank you for being so open with me! Sometimes you follow a prompting and think you&#8217;re a weirdo </em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>She then went on to tell me that she and her husband recently did their third round of IUI which was unsuccessful.   I was able to tell her that we conceived our girls with IUI, which brought <em>her</em> some faith and comfort that it <em>can</em> happen that way.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>There were too many coincidences to make the whole experience nothing short of having the hand of the Lord in it.</p>
<p>I know that girl was prompted to say those things to me, I know it was a miracle in my life, at the right moment. I am so grateful for this kind stranger, who acted on the prompting to give  such a wonderful compliment on my family.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It was a simple thing that brought me a few moments of peace and clarity during a time where there was nothing but heart break.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I know she was prompted to say those things to me and  I know it was a miracle in my life- at the right moment- to remind me that my family is amazing and perfect, and we can accomplish so much and let our lights shine- just the four of us.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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<p><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nWY7btakSx8/VlI6FUeArqI/AAAAAAAAuAo/V0m5FCMwAe8/s640/IMG_8597.jpg" data-blogger-escaped-style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nWY7btakSx8/VlI6FUeArqI/AAAAAAAAuAo/V0m5FCMwAe8/s640/IMG_8597.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="426" border="0" /></a></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/">If You See Something Good In Someone- Tell Them</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
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		<title>Miscarriage: The Best and Worst Advice</title>
		<link>https://infertilitees.com/miscarriage-best-worst-advice/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cindy Maudsley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Jan 2018 00:46:56 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Infertility Support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Supporting Loved Ones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertilityfacts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertilitysupport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[miscarriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnancy Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ttc]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://infertilitees.com/?p=88</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Miscarriage is one of the most common complications associated with early pregnancy. 1 out of 4 – or even more – of all pregnancies result in miscarriage. No matter what stage you lose a pregnancy it can be devastating and heartbreaking. It can take a physical and emotional toll on someone. Some people choose to be...</p>
<p><a class="more-link" href="https://infertilitees.com/miscarriage-best-worst-advice/">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/miscarriage-best-worst-advice/">Miscarriage: The Best and Worst Advice</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Miscarriage is one of the most common complications associated with early pregnancy. 1 out of 4 – or even more – of all pregnancies result in miscarriage.</p>
<p>No matter what stage you lose a pregnancy it can be devastating and heartbreaking.</p>
<p>It can take a physical and emotional toll on someone.</p>
<p>Some people choose to be open and talk about their loss, while others decide to keep it more private. Whatever you choose to do please know that you should not be ashamed or embarrassed about having a miscarriage. Most importantly, it is important to have at least one other person you confide in.</p>
<p>We asked our readers to help us come up with the best and worst advice they were given during their miscarriage. Almost everyone mentioned the importance of having a good support system and appreciating people actually acknowledging their loss.</p>
<p>We’ve compiled a list of the best and worst advice you can give to someone who is experiencing a miscarriage, along with a few ways you can help yourself.</p>
<p><span id="more-88"></span></p>
<p><strong>How to Help Someone:</strong></p>
<p><a class="dt-single-image mfp-ready" href="http://triumph2.wwwss32.a2hosted.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16.jpg" data-dt-img-description=""><img decoding="async" class="alignnone wp-image-36582 size-full" src="http://triumph2.wwwss32.a2hosted.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" srcset="http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16.jpg 800w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16-150x150.jpg 150w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16-300x300.jpg 300w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16-768x768.jpg 768w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16-600x600.jpg 600w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-16-180x180.jpg 180w" alt="" width="800" height="800" /></a></p>
<ul>
<li>Send flowers, drop off a card, their favorite treat, etc.</li>
<li>Hugs</li>
<li>Send a text</li>
<li>Cry with them</li>
<li>Allow them to grieve. Consider saying<em> “Take your time, self care is the most important thing. Don’t rush your recovery process”</em></li>
<li>Express your love for that person <em>and</em> the baby they just lost.</li>
<li>Recognize this is a loss for that person, validate their feelings</li>
<li>Bring dinner</li>
<li>Ask about the man in the relationship, too.</li>
<li>Watch for their cues, if you bring dinner, don’t expect to be invited in, respect their space</li>
<li>Acknowledged the miscarriage. If you don’t know what to say , <strong>don’t just stay silent</strong>. Saying<em> “I don’t have the words but I love you”</em> is better than saying nothing at all</li>
<li>Remember what their due date would have been and when that day comes- send them flowers, a text, dinner or anything to show them that you care and remember their angel baby.</li>
</ul>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Things not say:</strong></p>
<p><a class="dt-single-image mfp-ready" href="http://triumph2.wwwss32.a2hosted.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15.jpg" data-dt-img-description=""><img decoding="async" class="alignnone wp-image-36580 size-full" src="http://triumph2.wwwss32.a2hosted.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" srcset="http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15.jpg 800w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15-150x150.jpg 150w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15-300x300.jpg 300w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15-768x768.jpg 768w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15-600x600.jpg 600w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-15-180x180.jpg 180w" alt="" width="800" height="800" /></a></p>
<ul>
<li>“At least you can get pregnant” ( TIP: Avoid any sentence that begins with “at least”)</li>
<li>“I hear you’re super fertile after a miscarriage”</li>
<li>“What did you do to cause it?”</li>
<li>“Did you even want the pregnancy?”</li>
<li>“Did you bleed a lot?”</li>
<li>“The pain will go away”</li>
<li>“I know you’ll get pregnant again”</li>
<li>“Be grateful for the children that you have”<strong> ( note: it is possible to be simultaneously grateful and grieve at the same time)</strong></li>
<li>“Maybe God doesn’t think you are ready to be a mom”</li>
<li>“You probably don’t want kids anyway!”</li>
<li>“Keep your chin up, stay positive”</li>
<li>“You gotta move on,  don’t let it weigh you down”</li>
<li>“Just relax next time”</li>
<li>“You can have mine! My kids are driving me crazy”</li>
</ul>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>How to cope going through a miscarriage:</strong></p>
<p><a class="dt-single-image mfp-ready" href="http://triumph2.wwwss32.a2hosted.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17.jpg" data-dt-img-description=""><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone wp-image-36581 size-full" src="http://triumph2.wwwss32.a2hosted.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17.jpg" sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" srcset="http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17.jpg 800w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17-150x150.jpg 150w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17-300x300.jpg 300w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17-768x768.jpg 768w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17-600x600.jpg 600w, http://triumphsandtrials.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Untitled-design-17-180x180.jpg 180w" alt="" width="800" height="800" /></a></p>
<ul>
<li>Journal</li>
<li>Talk openly</li>
<li>Name your baby, celebrate their due date each year</li>
<li>Consider getting testing done to see what caused the miscarriage</li>
<li>Don’t pretend it didn’t happen</li>
<li>Join an <a href="https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=friends%20in%20faith%3Asupport%20for%20infertility-adoption-miscarriage%20%26%20infant%20loss">online support group</a></li>
<li>Be prepared with supplies: heating pads, maxi pads, pain medicine.</li>
<li>Rest up</li>
<li>Serve someone else</li>
<li>Pray</li>
<li>Meditate</li>
</ul>
<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/miscarriage-best-worst-advice/">Miscarriage: The Best and Worst Advice</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
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