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	<title>pregnancy Archives - Infertili.Tees</title>
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		<title>If You See Something Good In Someone- Tell Them</title>
		<link>https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cindy Maudsley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Jan 2018 04:40:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Infertility Support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Supporting Loved Ones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tender Mercies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertilitysupport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[miscarriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://infertilitees.com/?p=214</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>There is a lot of negative conversation surrounding  the world of Facebook and Instagram that I just want to remind you that there can also be so much good- if it is used that way.  The experience I want to share touched my life and I never would have had it if it weren&#8217;t for...</p>
<p><a class="more-link" href="https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/">If You See Something Good In Someone- Tell Them</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
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<p>There is a lot of negative conversation surrounding  the world of Facebook and Instagram that I just want to remind you that there can also be so much good- if it is used that way.  The experience I want to share touched my life and I never would have had it if it weren&#8217;t for social media.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>We can choose to use it for uplifting others or we can choose to use it to degrade, belittle and break down those around us.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>This experience has taught me to use it for good whenever I can and to act on those promptings that come our way.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I really love the yard sale pages on Facebook.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>They are groups formed of people in your area where you can sell and buy things from each other.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>A few years ago someone was selling colored twine and I thought<em> &#8220;Oh, yes, I have to have it!&#8221;</em> I commented that I wanted one roll and asked for her address, telling her I would pick it up in two days.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>As it turned out two days later we found out we were having a chemical pregnancy after our second round of IVF and it ended up being a particularly hard, emotional day for us.</p>
<p>The thought of driving <em>anywhere and seeing anyone</em> was the furthest thing from my mind, and somehow the twine was forgotten.</p>
<p>Until the girl selling it sent me a private message.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>There I sat,  downstairs in our basement on our computer with  tear stained cheeks,  my body exhausted as I opened up the private message she sent me via Facebook.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Just wondering if you were still interested in the red/brown roll of twine. I&#8217;ve set it aside but there are others interested.</em></p>
<p><em> </em></p>
<p><em>Also, maybe this is super creepster-y, but I usually check out the people coming to my house and I have to say, your family is adorable! You look happy and bright! I&#8217;m assuming you&#8217;re just really good at letting your light shine!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Those last two sentences snapped me back into reality. In that moment my heart skipped a beat as I stared at my computer screen.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It was so clearly a message sent from above through an angel on earth.</p>
<p>It was exactly what I  needed to hear, it was so clear and distinct that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this girl, who I had never met, was supposed to send that message to me.</p>
<p>It was meant to lift my spirits.</p>
<p>It  was meant to show me that my Savior, Jesus Christ, and my loving Heavenly Father were aware of me. Of my family. Of my hurt heart and broken spirit.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Because this was the day that our HCG level was confirmed to be going down {from a number of 51 down to 20}and  was the day we had to come to terms with quite possibly never having anymore children.</p>
<p>We had decided that if this last attempt at IVF failed, we would take a break and it would quite possibly be the last attempt we would make to get pregnant doing fertility treatments.</p>
<p>Not getting pregnant, and knowing we were &#8220;done&#8221; with the treatments and medications- knowing that  unless a miracle occurred-  we would not be having any more babies- was THE hardest thing.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Something I still cannot fully comprehend or wrap my head around.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>That first day I felt so broken, and lost, and alone and hurt.</p>
<p>I was questioning if my family could really be complete with just the four of us, I was afraid to accept that our family may not being anything more than it was.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>But through the kindness of a stranger, I felt such a strong message that yes, my family can and will be just fine.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>That my sadness didn&#8217;t need to define me. And although, the grieving of never being pregnant again just might take a life time to fully heal, I still had a beautiful family that can shine just as it is.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I sat there that night I began to cry again. But this time they were tears because I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of love.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I look for tender mercies in my life with just about everything that happens, because I have to in order to feel peace and be okay with trials sent out way.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The words that stranger wrote   felt like it was God&#8217;s way of literally shaking me awake, telling me <em>He was there</em>.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t want to freak this girl out, but I quickly wrote her back and told her how much her message meant to me, how much I needed it. I told her briefly about our fertility struggles.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>She quickly responded</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em>You know what? I definitely felt like I needed to tell you that!&#8230;.Thank you for being so open with me! Sometimes you follow a prompting and think you&#8217;re a weirdo </em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>She then went on to tell me that she and her husband recently did their third round of IUI which was unsuccessful.   I was able to tell her that we conceived our girls with IUI, which brought <em>her</em> some faith and comfort that it <em>can</em> happen that way.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>There were too many coincidences to make the whole experience nothing short of having the hand of the Lord in it.</p>
<p>I know that girl was prompted to say those things to me, I know it was a miracle in my life, at the right moment. I am so grateful for this kind stranger, who acted on the prompting to give  such a wonderful compliment on my family.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It was a simple thing that brought me a few moments of peace and clarity during a time where there was nothing but heart break.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I know she was prompted to say those things to me and  I know it was a miracle in my life- at the right moment- to remind me that my family is amazing and perfect, and we can accomplish so much and let our lights shine- just the four of us.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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<p><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nWY7btakSx8/VlI6FUeArqI/AAAAAAAAuAo/V0m5FCMwAe8/s640/IMG_8597.jpg" data-blogger-escaped-style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nWY7btakSx8/VlI6FUeArqI/AAAAAAAAuAo/V0m5FCMwAe8/s640/IMG_8597.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="426" border="0" /></a></p>
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<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/facebook-isnt-bad/">If You See Something Good In Someone- Tell Them</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
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		<title>How To Tell Your Infertile Friend You Are Pregnant</title>
		<link>https://infertilitees.com/how-to-tell-your-infertile-friend-you-are-pregnant/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cindy Maudsley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Jan 2018 17:39:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Supporting Loved Ones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertilityfacts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infertilitysupport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pregnancy annoucement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ttc]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://infertilitees.com/?p=119</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>One of the hardest parts of the infertility roller coaster is that horrible feeling called jealousy. It is so easy to become “jealous” of others when they have something you want and desire. Those battling infertility often find themselves having a difficult time when others become pregnant and have babies. It is a valid feeling,...</p>
<p><a class="more-link" href="https://infertilitees.com/how-to-tell-your-infertile-friend-you-are-pregnant/">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/how-to-tell-your-infertile-friend-you-are-pregnant/">How To Tell Your Infertile Friend You Are Pregnant</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of the hardest parts of the infertility roller coaster is that horrible feeling called jealousy. It is so easy to become “jealous” of others when they have something you want and desire.</p>
<p>Those battling infertility often find themselves having a difficult time when others become pregnant and have babies.</p>
<p>It is a valid feeling, and normal and natural to feel that way.</p>
<p>But it is  the worst feeling, too. To not be immediately happy, or excited for those you love.</p>
<p>Over time you might eventually not feel that way but it takes a lot of energy, faith, prayer and resilience to get to that point.</p>
<p>It’s important to know that you can still be happy for others, while being sad for yourself.</p>
<p><span id="more-119"></span></p>
<p><strong>Finding out someone else is pregnant can be a huge trigger for someone experiencing infertility.</strong></p>
<p>It can make or break your day. It can can make or break your mood, your sense of peace and your faith.</p>
<p>It can send you down a path of sadness, jealousy, bitterness and resentment. It is the worst of all the feelings you can feel. Not only because it makes you feel miserable, but because you probably feel guilty for feeling that way toward someone you love.</p>
<p>If you are pregnant and need to tell someone you love who is battling infertility, there are a few sensitive ways you can do so.</p>
<p>Of course, you don’t have to think about others and how they might feel, you don’t have to be considerate of the feelings of those around you- but if you do care- then please take note.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Tell the person privately</strong></p>
<p>You might want to announce your pregnancy at a big family gathering or on social media- and that is great! But if you know someone has been trying to get pregnant consider giving them a heads up before you do it publicly.</p>
<p>When you announce a pregnancy in a large group, those who may struggle with infertility might not have  control over how they react. It could take all the energy they can muster to not burst into tears right then and there- therefore taking away from your big moment.</p>
<p>When you tell someone in private it gives them time to gather their thoughts, feelings and composure before having to hold it together in a crowd or even in front of one or two other people.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Be compassionate</strong></p>
<p>Yes, this is your pregnancy and you have every right to be excited and happy- but if you are about to tell your sister, best friend or co-worker that you are pregnant do what you can to offer support.</p>
<p>I have had relatives and friends preface their announcement to me by recognizing  my heart- ache.</p>
<p>They told me how they know it can be hard for me to hear people are pregnant but that they love me and wanted to tell me themselves. They validated my journey and made it easier for me to be honest and open with them.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Text, phone call, email, message</strong></p>
<p>Sometimes telling someone via text message, email, or phone call is the best policy.</p>
<p>Know your audience and your relationship and decide how you think that person would want to be told.</p>
<p>Being told someone is pregnant through a text message might be offensive to some people, others might appreciate the space it allows them to gather their thoughts before responding.</p>
<p>When you get an email or text with that announcement it gives you time to process the news and not have to react face-to-face.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Don’t keep it a secret</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>No matter how much it might hurt to hear one more pregnancy announcement, it will hurt even more for a close friend or family member to keep it a secret. I would much rather know about it than know my loved one was afraid to tell me, or trying to keep it quiet. Through open communication you can both better understand one another.</p>
<p>As in all things, honesty is always the best policy.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>A few closing thoughts </strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It is a given that we cannot always know how people might respond to different events in our life.</p>
<p>Pregnancy is a miracle and a joyful thing- yet it can be so hard to hear about when it is something that is not happening for you.</p>
<p>And unless you’ve been there- unless you’ve experienced a loss or infertility we don’t expect you to understand that pain.</p>
<p>But yes, it might make me sad to know you are pregnant.</p>
<p>Just know that I am feeling<em> sad for me</em> and for what I cannot have and<em> I’m not mad at you and I am happy for you the best way I know how.</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://infertilitees.com/how-to-tell-your-infertile-friend-you-are-pregnant/">How To Tell Your Infertile Friend You Are Pregnant</a> appeared first on <a href="https://infertilitees.com">Infertili.Tees</a>.</p>
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